Seldom I am convinced that she was entirely set apart from the rest of the world, I am very sure because there was enough proof. A few days ago, I saw her walking down the streets with her headphones on. Amid racing bodies decorated with the dins of sirens and shouts of impatience throngs on the streets, she wandered in a slow but pleasant pace, ignoring crowds speeding towards and behind. Between dazzling neon signs of red, blue, white and yellow of a typical Downtown night, she strolled past each and every store on the street. No matter if it was a cosmetic store or a bookstore, everything seems to excite her pleasingly.
She enjoyed herself. You can tell by the contradiction of her and the rest; Among the clenched eyebrows, hers were unfolded and even a little raised; Of countless hollow and empty eyes sunk in tiredness, hers were focused elevated with full vitality. If other’s eyes were dead because they ran out of battery, you could say hers was fully charged.
You may say she was an eerie person -- the way she acted was completely different from the others, but it never bothered her. If the whole world was an old, black and white photo of people with numb and dull expressions on their face, she would always be the unfit colored figure in the picture.
I guess the word to describe her was “optimistic,” but it was not the usual optimism. She had the kind of cumbersome and absurd form of optimism, no matter what the vibe of the surroundings was.
I used to think that the word “optimistic” was so cliché as if it was a Christmas song we can sing in unison because, indeed, no one can stay positive all the time. Now I must admit that I was wrong. I’ve never seen anyone who had such energy and positivity emanating from her body.
She wasn’t like this before. A few months ago, she came to school bringing the gloomiest vibe with her. Everyone shunned her like there was stench oozing out her body. The bitterness and resentment in her eyes when she stared at someone seemed like if that person owed her money; she staggered in a way that I wondered if there was an invisible metal ball connected by a curb chain that was locked on her feet. Crying was inevitable. Every time I walked towards the corner of the hallway, I could hear the faint weep. I was, again, convinced that she was separated from the rest of the world. No matter how blue the sky was, how emerald-like the trees were, or how soft the breeze blew, nothing seemed to excite her. But on that magical night when I saw her, something happened, and the second day she came to school, she acted so differently. I was actually concerned that she might be cursed.
Yeah, so you see the difference was so enormous that I, a bystander, became inquisitive. I wondered why she is the way she is now and what the heck happened in between.
So one day, I summoned up all my courage to walk up to her and said:
“Hey, you seemed to have changed a lot over the past few weeks.”
“Oh...So you’ve noticed?”
“Yes,” I said.
“Oh yeah… It’s just that I realized something.” She said in a calm voice.
“What did you realize?” I responded.
“You know how I used to act so downheartedly?”
“Yeah.”
“Many things changed in my life within these few months, and ever since it changed, I felt empty and sad. I hated it so much. I went into a crazy vortex of regretting and lamenting. I wasn’t ready, or I should say I wasn’t willing to change the situation. So you see, I looked depressed.”
“That went on for a while. My parents were worried too. They tried so much to help me, yet nothing was helpful. I never convinced myself to believe that life’s going to get better, let alone when others tried to convince me.”
“I was, indeed, a different person then. What was scary was that I never noticed it. I thought I was still me, but just a sadder version.”
“You were not.” I interrupted her mid-sentence. How can she not realize how different she was now and then?
“You’re right,” she smiled. “I was a totally different person. I blamed it on the others. I blamed them for not caring for me and not helping me, yet I was dumb enough to not understand one true and simple fact: You should love yourself before anyone else does.”
“Luckily it wasn’t too late for me to realize it. One day I decided to take a scroll Downtown; I didn’t know why, though. I guess I was too busy grieving and never took the time to do some real stuff. So I thought, why not go outside? While I was walking down the streets of Downtown, I saw people that looked like I did before. I looked at them, and, how should I say this… They looked like zombies. That was when I began to feel scared. I thought about the way I acted, and I finally understood that I was totally isolated from the world! I was separated from every beautiful thing because I wrapped myself in a cocoon of agony that I never cared to break free. I was so stupid! I struggled over months, and now I sensed that it was entirely a waste of time! So I thought, why not try to appreciate things I ignored over the last few months, like truly understanding them? I’ve tried, and it was great.”
“I saw you there,” I said.
“Oh really?” She asked surprisingly.
“Yes.”
“Oh well, I guess I was too into it. I didn’t see you,” she blushed.
“No,” I said. “I think that’s wonderful, you know? Anyways, thanks a lot for telling me.”
“No, I should thank you for understanding me.”
“Okay, I gotta go now, see you later.”
“Bye.”
And that was the end of the conversation. On the way back home, I reflected on what she said. Was I ever downhearted and well begun? Of course, but her words reminded me. Maybe it is time to stop focusing on the chaos and turbulence in this complex world and start to focus on loving ourselves.
About the Author 作者简介
Nicky Sun
Grade 10 Collingwood School
Just an ordinary being who loves to write and listen to songs
孙艺宁
科林伍德中学 10年级
天地间一介热爱写东西听歌的凡人罢了
About the Piece 作品介绍
This article incorporates my real experience. In writing, all of my words express the most eager and vivid experience and emotions that lie in my heart. The purpose that drove me to create this story is just to tell everyone: no matter what challenges and setbacks you encounter, you must learn to love yourself. This is the key to facing setbacks and winning. When I first came to Canada as an international student, I faced many challenges and it was hard for me to adjust. I felt frustrated and painful, thinking that I was worthless. But fortunately, I finally realized that life is not always sad and negative. There are many wonderful things in the world that are worth my experience. When they fill your heart, your sky will be full of sunshine, allowing you to move forward with confidence; not troubled any more.
这篇文章融入了我真实的经历。在写作中，我所有的文字表达了蕴藏在我内心中那份最热切生动的体会与情感。创作这个故事的目的，就是想告诉大家：无论遇到任何挑战与挫折，都要学会爱自己——这是迎击波折并取得胜利的关键。当我作为国际学生第一次来到加拿大时，适应对我来说很困难。我感到沮丧和痛苦，以为自己毫无价值。但幸运的是，我终于意识到生活并非总是悲伤消极，世界上有很多美妙的事情值得我去拥有体会。当它们充满你的心，你的天空将充满阳光，让你自信前行，不再困扰。
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